In 2010 I resolve to......

.....become less of a control freak. I intend to do this by controlling everything so it's just the way I want it so that I don't need to be such a control freak about everything.

.....eat more burritos

.....use more acronyms with the "F" word in them

....cut some slack to the short-sighted meatheads who think an unseasonably cold weekend forecast in Florida is proof that global warming is a scam designed by Al Gore so that they can feel better about themselves when they're filling up their 9 mpg Chevy Suburbans. Actually, I take that back. Those people need to WTFU.


.....go a whole year without buying a t-shirt

.....try not to do anything or say anything that makes somebody want to punch me in the face. I believe that if everybody lived their lives according to this simple rule then the world would be a better place.

.....try to be less self-absorbed during cyclocross season.. For the three months of cross season this year, my training, my meals, my travel plans, my race schedule came pretty much before anything else. This year I also need to spend more time obsessing about my gear, my wheels, and my underlayer choices for different conditions. In other words, it can't just be about me.

....figure out what the hell the word, notwithstanding, actually means and use it in a sentence. It seems all the smart people know how to use it. Failing that, I will make up my own words that are pieced together from other words and use them instead. Like areyoufuckingkiddingme.

....find the cure for my short term memory loss. Even though I haven't had one in about 20 years, I remember the contents of a Big Mac because of the commercial from the 70's but I can't walk into an adjacent room and remember why I walked in there. Unless it's the bathroom.

....come up with an especially brutal workout for everybody at the gym and start each session that day with a bad impersonation of Drago from this scene of Rocky IV




....remind myself to HTFU when I hear the voice in my head screaming for me to stop while I'm training to increase my FTP by 10% this year. My stomach knots up just thinking about it.

.... learn to speak Flemish so that when I watch cyclocross videos from Europe I can understand more than "Nys", "Stybar", and "Albert". Although on second thought, do I really need to understand any more than that?

.... pretend to be wrong once in a while. Not only is the pressure of being right all the time stressful, it's actually a burden.

.... become an action hero.

....drink less coffee. fuck that

.... base my self-worth on my number of facebook friends

....find a non-alcoholic that drinks non-alcoholic beer

....shun with reckless abandon

....live vicariously through a 2 year old. Does it get better than having people cheer for you because you didn't crap in your pants?

....perfect the art of thinly-veiled sarcasm

....spend a full day at the Riverwalk Cafe chain-drinking espresso and blogging a stream of consciousness

.... Exile on Main St is the best album ever recorded. Just saying.